Maniac Mansion Mania Forum
MMM-International => International Board => Thema gestartet von: cinemaguy1 am 09. September 2008, 20:10:17
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This is the first 50 pages of the English translation. I have to post it in parts. All following parts will be up in a bit. I have a few questions as well that I'll post when finished. Still making a list of things I wanted to bring up. Boogieman, peruse at your leisure and let me know if there's anything you'd like changed.
When the full file is complete, I'd like to get the translation file and play through once more and give final notes in case there is anything I missed.
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edit Rocco: please use attachements.
thx
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Hm,maybe "cavern" fits better.
PS:Uhm,why are you posting this all??
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I was asked to post it. I can take it down if you guys don't want it.
If you'd like it in another form or place, let me know...
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well please do not post the whole file here
just mail it to me (you can find my email address in my profile) or upload it to a filehoster like http://www.rapidshare.com/ (http://www.rapidshare.com/) and send me the download link
and you actually can give me the whole english.txt
I have a program for comparing two textfiles, so I am able to see your changes without any problems ;)
But I'll sue you, ...
... your parents, ...
... your children ...
... and your children's children!
why did you remove "you" from the first line? ???
But I'll sue...
... your parents, ...
... your children ...
... and your children's children!
Charlie wants to sue Klaus and all persons who are and ever will be related to him ;)
your version sounds to me like Charlie just wants to sue Klaus' parents and so on :-\
does it really still have the same meaning as before? ???
I'm the new school nurse since today.
I'm the new school nurse today.
I tried to say, that she is the new school nurse from now on
your version sounds to me like she is the new school nurse for today (tomorrow she will be gone)
I've got a feeling like that woman has skeletons in the basement.
I've got a feeling that woman has skeletons in her closet.
is my version of that proverb false or just another way to say it?
because in the game "Maniac Mansion" Edna really has a skeleton in the basement, so the basement version would be much more funny ;D
in 2 sentences you change the word "tread" to "thread"
why? a tread is something to step on, a thread is something completely different ???
or am I wrong?
there are some Achmed sentences like
But Achmed having no money.
But Achmed has no money.
I think I will stick to my "more wrong" version ;D ;)
that is all I found so far, the rest is fine with me :)
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Ah, great! An attachment is much easier.
Okay, as for the notes...
I misunderstood the line about suing. I was tired and up all night on that one. Stick with your version.
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"I'm the new school nurse since today" sounds awkward. Perhaps "I'm the school nurse starting today." or "Starting today, I'll be the school nurse." would work better for you. If it were me, I wouldn't keep it as it was.
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If you literally mean she has physical skeletons in her basement, your way is best. The phrase "to have skeletons in your closet" means someones has secrets and is extremely common here. I assumed you wanted the phrase and changed it for you. But change it back if you are referring to actual skeletons. Then wordplay doesn't apply.
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I must've thought the tread was the thread in the garbage can in the sanctuary. It was doing a lot of skipping around on where the story was and again, I was tired. At least changing it brought your attention to it. I wasn't sure...
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Alright, I have a few questions about things. Perhaps it's just a culture gap. I'm not really sure.
There was a sentence on the poster next to the apartments, "It's not allowed to placard here!" This wording won't really convey what that means very well. I know you mean something along the lines of "Don't advertise here." but I would suggest a rewrite of that poster for us Americans. :)
The address on the building is 4a. Is that how addresses are in Europe? With numbers and letters? We don't really do that on the outsides of our buildings. Our apartments inside the building are commonly done that way, but not addresses.
I've never seen anyone sign a letter with the closing "sgd:" before. I assume it means "signed." Perhaps that's more common in Germany? You could American-ize it to a simple "Sincerely" or "Regards". I didn't change it. Your way probably works fine. Just wasn't sure.
There's a line "I'm not a standard bearer" at some point in the game. I couldn't figure out what you were intending with this. Perhaps a rewording would help. I can help if you'd like with a little explanation.
I should have reworded the line "Where's that ground coming from?" but with only the text in front of me, I couldn't remember the context. That's one I'd like to see again during gameplay to see how it works.
Ok, well that's the fun in translation! Those were all my notes for about 50 pages of story. Pretty great considering, I think, on your part. Translating isn't easy. I hope I'm being of some help to the overall game. I'll finish up the rest by tomorrow.
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If you literally mean she has physical skeletons in her basement, your way is best. The phrase "to have skeletons in your closet" means someones has secrets and is extremely common here. I assumed you wanted the phrase and changed it for you. But change it back if you are referring to actual skeletons. Then wordplay doesn't apply.
I meant "to have skeletons in your closet" as "to have secrets"
but in german this phrase could also end with basement instead of closet, so it is a perfect match
in the online translation tool I have used, there I also found an english version featuring basement, so I thought I could use that instead
too bad it does not work :'(
There was a sentence on the poster next to the apartments, "It's not allowed to placard here!" This wording won't really convey what that means very well. I know you mean something along the lines of "Don't advertise here." but I would suggest a rewrite of that poster for us Americans. :)
actually there are 2 posters. the left one should say something like "Do not put posters on this wall".
the joke is, that someone put a poster right beside it that says "Okay!"
so there are 2 posters on a wall where no posters are allowed ;)
The address on the building is 4a. Is that how addresses are in Europe? With numbers and letters? We don't really do that on the outsides of our buildings. Our apartments inside the building are commonly done that way, but not addresses.
this background graphic is from an other episode done by Mister L and so it became part of Ronville
I just used it but did not change anything on it :-\
but I think I will keep it the wrong way, since there are a bunch of episodes featuring this background with 4a
so at least we will all have it wrong ;D
I've never seen anyone sign a letter with the closing "sgd:" before. I assume it means "signed." Perhaps that's more common in Germany? You could American-ize it to a simple "Sincerely" or "Regards". I didn't change it. Your way probably works fine. Just wasn't sure.
yes, this means "signed" (got it from the online translation tool)
actually that isn't common in Germany either :P
but I have seen that a couple of times on TV when someone reads a letter aloud, so I got used to it :-\
There's a line "I'm not a standard bearer" at some point in the game. I couldn't figure out what you were intending with this. Perhaps a rewording would help. I can help if you'd like with a little explanation.
that is the response when you try to pick up the banner at the police picnic
once again, I got it from the online translation tool
it says that a "standard bearer" is someone who carries a banner
you know it from knight-movies. there is always one guy carrying a banner while all the others are fighting ;)
I should have reworded the line "Where's that ground coming from?" but with only the text in front of me, I couldn't remember the context. That's one I'd like to see again during gameplay to see how it works.
at two points in the game, you suddenly can interact with the floor you are standing on (you can put a bucket on it or dig a hole in it)
but there was no hotspot before, so Klaus is wondering where this hotspot is coming from ;)
this is the reaction when Klaus looks at the ground
Ok, well that's the fun in translation! Those were all my notes for about 50 pages of story. Pretty great considering, I think, on your part. Translating isn't easy. I hope I'm being of some help to the overall game. I'll finish up the rest by tomorrow.
you are a great help!
at least I did not get the urgent need to bang my head on the wall, when I played the first 5 minutes using the proofread translation ;D
my original translation did that ;)
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All done!!! Unfortunately the file is too large to attach here... :( Will email the final file to you Boogieman. Once you have it as a translation file, please guide me to it and I'll play through with one last critique just in case. I'd also like to see my work in-game! Thanks...
But before I go, I have a few more notes for you to consider before making the final translation. Here goes...
Typically promotional posters for non-profit issues (such as the environment) aren't called advertisements. They're called public service announcements.
I don't understand the very last line of the game. I assume it means Dr. Tears has died, but the wording is, "Paper is not supposed to be disposed as biological waste." If I didn't get it, it's likely others won't either. Maybe a good idea to explain that...
The line "I don't need good mood in my pockets." I was confused from the text where that was being used. I left it untouched due to my uncertainty.
Monogizing isn't a word. Hopefully, you meant it in a funny way. I left it there because I didn't have anything to change it to and wasn't sure if you wanted it or not.
I left the $ after the numbers in Ivana's dialog because to her that would be where they would go. It fits for her character, but for consistency, you may want to American-ize it. I like it how it is currently though.
Is wellington a brand name? If so a capital letter would be needed. As is, the "w" is lower-cased in all usages.
I was also confused on the line "I think I should spare my telephone joker for later." Definitely needs a rewording. I can help if you need, again with a little more clarification.
I wouldn't use the words "bearing" or "alms". They were both hard to understand the meaning. In the game, I changed the word alms to charity. I hope that was the meaning you wanted. If not, I'm sure another word would suffice. Bearing perhaps could be replaced simply with "hard surface". Up to you, though.
So, if that's it, I guess I am done for now. I liked the episode. My favorite part BY FAR was seeing Indy swing across the divide in his wheelchair. Absolutely hilarious!
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Boogieman, your email was hidden in your profile, so I threw the file up online for you.
Link Removed
Enjoy!
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i guess you can decrease the filesize, when you zip the *.txt file.
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I don't understand the very last line of the game. I assume it means Dr. Tears has died, but the wording is, "Paper is not supposed to be disposed as biological waste." If I didn't get it, it's likely others won't either. Maybe a good idea to explain that...
ok, the cutscene runs like this:
in the credits comes the text
This is the first game by Bòógieman,
in which no virtual lifeform has been killed ...
start of a cutscene where a girl (April Green, an environmentalist) enters Dr. Tears' office
she screams "OH MY GOD! DR. TEARS! NOOOOOO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?"
so the player thinks that Dr. Tears has killed himself, but then Dr. Tears says "What?"
and the girl complains "Paper is not supposed to be disposed as biological waste!"
back to the credits
... and this shall not change.
do you really not get the meaning of that? I thought it was quite a understandable joke :-\
April just complains about Dr. Tears using the wrong garbage can ;)
The line "I don't need good mood in my pockets." I was confused from the text where that was being used. I left it untouched due to my uncertainty.
you can find a big smiley-poster in Dr. Tears' office
Klaus says this line when you try to take that poster
Monogizing isn't a word. Hopefully, you meant it in a funny way. I left it there because I didn't have anything to change it to and wasn't sure if you wanted it or not.
actually it is "monologizing" ;)
ok, then lets change "I know a cheaper way of monologizing." to "I know a cheaper way to monologize." or "I know a cheaper way to talk to myself."
I think thats the comment, when Klaus tries to use two telephones at once ;)
I left the $ after the numbers in Ivana's dialog because to her that would be where they would go. It fits for her character, but for consistency, you may want to American-ize it. I like it how it is currently though.
I think I'll American-ize it for consistency ;)
Is wellington a brand name? If so a capital letter would be needed. As is, the "w" is lower-cased in all usages.
oh right, that's British English ;D
a wellington is a gumboot or rubber boot :P
I was also confused on the line "I think I should spare my telephone joker for later." Definitely needs a rewording. I can help if you need, again with a little more clarification.
do you know the quiz show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" ?
if the candidate does not know the answer to a question, he can use several "jokers" like "asking the audience" or "making a phone call"
"I think I should spare my telephone joker for later." is a reference to that show when Klaus tries to call Ivana without knowing why ;)
I wouldn't use the words "bearing" or "alms". They were both hard to understand the meaning. In the game, I changed the word alms to charity. I hope that was the meaning you wanted. If not, I'm sure another word would suffice. Bearing perhaps could be replaced simply with "hard surface". Up to you, though.
charity is fine ;)
I meant "bearing" as the part of the catapult where you put the projectile
it is the support for the projectile
ok, I'm going to check the new translation and then my episode is finally ready to
(http://www.trustedreviews.com/images/article/inline/3413-dott2.jpg)
TAKE ON THE WORLD!!! ;D
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Concerning the catapult:
You truly shouldn't use bearing here, as it is commonly used for Kugellager.
The tray of a catapult is simply called bucket and the throwing arm is a beam.
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ops, I actually meant "bearing" in the sense of "where you put the rocker on"
in the game you build the rocker by connecting a sign and a shovel
then you place the whole thing on a big stone to create a catapult
the stone is the "bearing" :-\
how about "base"? ???
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Base works just fine, I think.
In regard to the telephone joker, instead of the word "jokers," you'd definitely want the word "lifelines" then. People will understand "telephone lifeline" as a "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" reference. They wouldn't with jokers.
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After that, you have to palm the stolen goods off on your victim.
After that, you have to steal the goods from your victim.
I think you did not understand what I was trying to say :-\
this sentence refers to the part of the game, where you steal the picnic and place it on the ground behind bernard, so the police will think that bernard has stolen it
your version sounds like you have to steal the picnic from bernard ???
I changed "I know a cheaper way of monologizing." to "I know a cheaper way of talking to myself."
I used "Please don't open your blouse!" instead of "Please close your blouse!"
I changed "It's an advertisement for the environment." to "It's a public service announcement for the environment."
or would "It's a public service announcement." be better?
you changed
Many thanks, for the support at
scriptchanges on the starterpack, dedicated to
Bissiger Witzbold and khrismuc
to
Many thanks, for the support...
scriptchanges on the starterpack, dedicated to
Bissiger Witzbold and khrismuc
and now I have changed it to
Many thanks, for the support with
scriptchanges on the starterpack, dedicated to
Bissiger Witzbold and khrismuc
So he prepared an entrapment that would teach him once and for all.
So he prepared a trap that would teach him once and for all.
is that change really necessary or does it just sound better?
this is part of the starwars intro text and would be a whole lot of work to change :-\
and now I use "base" instead of "bearing", "rubber boot" instead of "wellington"
I also changed
On the left poster is written: "It's not allowed to placard here!"
to
On the left poster is written: "It's not allowed to put posters on this wall!"
EDIT: i have sent you a private message with the download link for the newest version of the game ;)
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Okay, I understand the palm line now. It should say "After that, you have to pawn the stolen goods off on your victim." With that meaning, you'd want pawn instead of palm.
You could use either for the Public Service announcement. I'd keep "It's a public service announcement for the environment" because it explains more fully.
Entrapment really can't be properly used that way, unfortunately. That word is more for when police officers create a situation in which the criminal has no choice other than to break the law. An entrapment can also be a situation, I suppose, but that's really more so a usage while being entrapped such as Klaus saying while the bucket is over his head, "This entrapment will not go unpunished." Truthfully, most people won't even catch it, but it's really not the word you want there. Trap is a much better word for that part, in my opinion.
The poster line still sounds off to me. You could instead say "Please do no put posters on this wall." That would sound much better and still work with the "OK" on the next poster. It's even a little pithier and much more natural. Starting it with "It's" doesn't convey well at all.
All your other changes were very good ones.
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I think we got a final translation now :D
I haven't played it yet, but I thing it's english now ;D
the only thing left to do, is to change the starwars intro text and this will take some time :'(
let me know if you find something that still needs to be changed
thank you very much for your help!
you did a really great job
when I'm going to translate my Halloween episode, I will contact you ;D
if you want, you can proofread that either
don't worry, this is a much shorter game than "The Klaus strikes back" ;)
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Okay, I just played the game all the way through and it needs one more polish job. I took notes throughout and I guess I will reupload. There were things that became evident when seeing it in game. I wouldn't count the previous one as a final just yet. It's close, but not yet finished.
These are a few more thoughts I had when playing... (Don't hate me...)
The line Edna says about "getting out of the house," it might work better with the word mansion as in Maniac Mansion.
I missed what the "Thing" was in Michael's locker was suppose to be. Some kind of blue rubberish thing...?
On the newspaper of Bernard's heroism, the word wellington is still there. Maybe not worth it to change. It works if one knows a wellington is (I didn't).
I haven't heard of the proverb "Harm set is half done..." Perhaps a European thing. Maybe you'd want something more known here...
I had trouble the first time figuring out to give the pills to the empty bottle. You can't click "use viagra" with anything. "Give" is not as intuitive and was a little tricky, but it works overall, I suppose. More of something I only noticed because I was taking notes and thought I'd pass it along. Fell free to dismiss that one.
Other than that, it's mostly slight punctuation things I overlooked. I'll fix those and forward you an updated translation.
Hopefully, nothing more after that! ;D
EDIT!!!!
I do have a few more... tagging them on here...
When digging outside, the ground is referred to as the floor. Floor isn't used outside typically. Couldn't find it in the text. Worth a look.
Is loyal the word you want when discussing the rubber boots? Seems an odd word to use for boots. If you do want it, I suppose it works.
I changed left/rightwards to read simply right and left. Should read better this way.
You used the word fork in the sanctuary. I didn't actually see a fork in the path. Looked to go in only one direction. Might want to change the word. I didn't touch it.
The line at the bulletin board when a character says "Everything at its time." I know what you mean but it's an awkward wording and another phrase would work better in my view.
"Hihi" when people laugh is up to you. It works, but we're more used to seeing "Hehe." Or for full Maniac Mansion-ness: "heh heh" is optimal. "Hihi" sounds off.
Other than those things... it's perfect as far as I can tell!
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I put up this LAST translation. I'm not looking at it anymore! Hehe...
Here it is...
http://rapidshare.com/files/144236748/english.txt.html
Once you look over the notes and make the adjustments you want, we are officially done. I have nothing further, your honor... :D
Of course, if you have any questions, let me know.
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I missed what the "Thing" was in Michael's locker was suppose to be. Some kind of blue rubberish thing...?
Thing is a little blue alien following Michael since the episode "The place machine"
I think this episode already has an english translation, so you can play it and see for yourself ;)
that is actually something you can't understand if you haven't played the other episodes yet :-\
I haven't heard of the proverb "Harm set is half done..." Perhaps a European thing. Maybe you'd want something more known here...
it's a mix of 2 proverbs
"Harm set, harm get."
"Well begun is half done." (actually the german original uses the proverb "The early bird catches the worm." here, but I couldn't find a good mix with that)
that was a hard one to translate, because the german version of "Harm set, harm get." is a perfect match to what Klaus is doing
it says something like "if you dig a pitfall, you will fall into it yourself"
the german version of "The early bird catches the worm." says something like "morning hours have gold in their mouths"
so the mix comes up to "if you dig a pitfall, you have gold in your mouth" ;D
and that is what Klaus says while digging a hole in the ground ;)
I hope you understand now and you are able to make a better mix of two proverbs :)
I had trouble the first time figuring out to give the pills to the empty bottle. You can't click "use viagra" with anything. "Give" is not as intuitive and was a little tricky, but it works overall, I suppose. More of something I only noticed because I was taking notes and thought I'd pass it along. Fell free to dismiss that one.
yes, that is a little tricky if you are not used to MMM-games
some items handle the command "use" different
i.e. viagra:
if you click on "use" and then on viagra, it is interpreted as "take a pill"
but if you directly click on the inventory item without clicking on "use", it is interpreted as "use inventory item with" (this will work with all inventory items)
I didn't even know that the "give" command works here ;D
Is loyal the word you want when discussing the rubber boots? Seems an odd word to use for boots. If you do want it, I suppose it works.
at some point in my first game, the halloween episode "Day Of The Dead", you are zapping through the TV channels
on one of the channels you hear the sentence "And that's how my loyal red rubber boots have saved my life."
so the "loyal red rubber boots" in episode 53 are just a reference to "Day Of The Dead", some sort of a personal running gag ;)
You used the word fork in the sanctuary. I didn't actually see a fork in the path. Looked to go in only one direction. Might want to change the word. I didn't touch it.
I know, but the sanctuary is another location not created by me, so I used the same names as Mulle The Maniac did
The line at the bulletin board when a character says "Everything at its time." I know what you mean but it's an awkward wording and another phrase would work better in my view.
do you know a fitting proverb or something?
actually I have no idea right now
"Hihi" when people laugh is up to you. It works, but we're more used to seeing "Hehe." Or for full Maniac Mansion-ness: "heh heh" is optimal. "Hihi" sounds off.
well, I consider "Hihi" more as a giggle than a laugh ;)
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and here are some lines from me
The door won't open anymore and it's impossible to lock it.
The door won't open anymore and it's impossible to unlock it.
door is already unlocked, but it is jammed
so Klaus is able to open it with a punch
it's supposed to be a hint for the player ;)
On the left poster is written: "Please do no put posters on this wall!"
On the left poster is written: "It's not allowed to put posters on this wall!"
why did you change that back to the old version?
or did I change it after sending the new translation to you? ???
"No, I'm completely healthly."
did you mean "healthy"?
After that, you have to pawn the stolen goods off on your victim.
After that, you have to palm the stolen goods off on your victim.
why did you chang pawn back to palm?
What's up, you little mischief?
What's up, you little miscreant?
I think I will use "What's up, you little rascal?"
is that ok?
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Ah, ok the door thing, I should have asked about it. I stared at it for awhile before deciding on that one. At the time, unlock seemed to fit better. Guess not though.
Yeah, I didn't change the poster. We probably had different versions of the .txt. It's gone back and forth a few times. I hope you have the full current one installed in the game.
Yup. healthy. Good thing we're both looking at this.
As for palm, I don't think on any of the run-throughs, I touched that one. Probably a version thing. Again, I hope everything else is up to date.
Rascal works just fine. I'm going to delete the older versions I have of the .txt file now, so we can both be up to date. I thought of that after sending the last one. If you have more than one, I'd run a comparison of them all to see that all the changes make it to the final .txt.
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I am not quite sure now
what is the better version
box with balloons
box of balloons
you changed "order paper fake" to "fake work order"
but left "order paper" in two other lines
what's better now? "order paper" or "work order"
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Box of balloons is better. And fake work order was what my roommate came up with up. It runs better than fake order paper. I guess for the other items, "blank work order" would suffice. Then "fake work order" for after it's filled out. That would convey better, I think.
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I've sent you a PM containing the link to another "final" version ;D ;)
I just played the game in english now and it really sounds good now :D
but I did some changes by myself
changed some "OK" to "Okay"
corrected the comment for the wood polish from "I don't need them." to "I don't need it."
and other stuff I don't remember now :P
when you think this version is OK, I'm going to publish it :)