Okay, I just played the game all the way through and it needs one more polish job. I took notes throughout and I guess I will reupload. There were things that became evident when seeing it in game. I wouldn't count the previous one as a final just yet. It's close, but not yet finished.
These are a few more thoughts I had when playing... (Don't hate me...)
The line Edna says about "getting out of the house," it might work better with the word mansion as in Maniac Mansion.
I missed what the "Thing" was in Michael's locker was suppose to be. Some kind of blue rubberish thing...?
On the newspaper of Bernard's heroism, the word wellington is still there. Maybe not worth it to change. It works if one knows a wellington is (I didn't).
I haven't heard of the proverb "Harm set is half done..." Perhaps a European thing. Maybe you'd want something more known here...
I had trouble the first time figuring out to give the pills to the empty bottle. You can't click "use viagra" with anything. "Give" is not as intuitive and was a little tricky, but it works overall, I suppose. More of something I only noticed because I was taking notes and thought I'd pass it along. Fell free to dismiss that one.
Other than that, it's mostly slight punctuation things I overlooked. I'll fix those and forward you an updated translation.
Hopefully, nothing more after that!

EDIT!!!!
I do have a few more... tagging them on here...
When digging outside, the ground is referred to as the floor. Floor isn't used outside typically. Couldn't find it in the text. Worth a look.
Is loyal the word you want when discussing the rubber boots? Seems an odd word to use for boots. If you do want it, I suppose it works.
I changed left/rightwards to read simply right and left. Should read better this way.
You used the word fork in the sanctuary. I didn't actually see a fork in the path. Looked to go in only one direction. Might want to change the word. I didn't touch it.
The line at the bulletin board when a character says "Everything at its time." I know what you mean but it's an awkward wording and another phrase would work better in my view.
"Hihi" when people laugh is up to you. It works, but we're more used to seeing "Hehe." Or for full Maniac Mansion-ness: "heh heh" is optimal. "Hihi" sounds off.
Other than those things... it's perfect as far as I can tell!