Autor Thema: Episode 53 - English translation  (Gelesen 11677 mal)

cinemaguy1

  • kleiner Tentakelsaugknopf
  • **
  • Beiträge: 31
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • AOL Instant Messenger - cinemaguy1
    • Profil anzeigen
    • Kid in a Cape Productions
    • E-Mail
Episode 53 - English translation
« am: 09. September 2008, 20:10:17 »
This is the first 50 pages of the English translation. I have to post it in parts. All following parts will be up in a bit. I have a few questions as well that I'll post when finished. Still making a list of things I wanted to bring up. Boogieman, peruse at your leisure and let me know if there's anything you'd like changed.

When the full file is complete, I'd like to get the translation file and play through once more and give final notes in case there is anything I missed.
« Letzte Änderung: 09. September 2008, 20:25:44 von cinemaguy1 »
http://www.kidinacape.com
My Production Company

cinemaguy1

  • kleiner Tentakelsaugknopf
  • **
  • Beiträge: 31
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • AOL Instant Messenger - cinemaguy1
    • Profil anzeigen
    • Kid in a Cape Productions
    • E-Mail
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #1 am: 09. September 2008, 20:13:06 »
Zitat
edit Rocco: please use attachements.
thx
« Letzte Änderung: 10. September 2008, 11:36:59 von cinemaguy1 »
http://www.kidinacape.com
My Production Company

NsMn

  • Midlife Crisis Tentakel
  • ******
  • Beiträge: 1646
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
  • überzeugter Paint-Nutzer
    • ICQ Messenger - 404385098
    • Profil anzeigen
    • E-Mail
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #2 am: 09. September 2008, 20:52:11 »
Hm,maybe "cavern" fits better.
PS:Uhm,why are you posting this all??

cinemaguy1

  • kleiner Tentakelsaugknopf
  • **
  • Beiträge: 31
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • AOL Instant Messenger - cinemaguy1
    • Profil anzeigen
    • Kid in a Cape Productions
    • E-Mail
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #3 am: 09. September 2008, 21:19:46 »
I was asked to post it. I can take it down if you guys don't want it.

If you'd like it in another form or place, let me know...
http://www.kidinacape.com
My Production Company

Bòógieman

  • International anerkannter Superheld
  • Globaler Moderator
  • alter Tentakel
  • *****
  • Beiträge: 2658
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
  • Grün Tentakel = Running Sushi!
    • Profil anzeigen
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #4 am: 09. September 2008, 22:40:00 »
well please do not post the whole file here
just mail it to me (you can find my email address in my profile) or upload it to a filehoster like http://www.rapidshare.com/ and send me the download link

and you actually can give me the whole english.txt
I have a program for comparing two textfiles, so I am able to see your changes without any problems  ;)

Zitat
But I'll sue you, ...
... your parents, ...
... your children ...
... and your children's children!

why did you remove "you" from the first line?  ???

Zitat
But I'll sue...
... your parents, ...
... your children ...
... and your children's children!

Charlie wants to sue Klaus and all persons who are and ever will be related to him  ;)
your version sounds to me like Charlie just wants to sue Klaus' parents and so on  :-\
does it really still have the same meaning as before?  ???

Zitat
I'm the new school nurse since today.
Zitat
I'm the new school nurse today.
I tried to say, that she is the new school nurse from now on
your version sounds to me like she is the new school nurse for today (tomorrow she will be gone)

Zitat
I've got a feeling like that woman has skeletons in the basement.
Zitat
I've got a feeling that woman has skeletons in her closet.
is my version of that proverb false or just another way to say it?
because in the game "Maniac Mansion" Edna really has a skeleton in the basement, so the basement version would be much more funny  ;D

in 2 sentences you change the word "tread" to "thread"
why? a tread is something to step on, a thread is something completely different  ???
or am I wrong?

there are some Achmed sentences like
Zitat
But Achmed having no money.
Zitat
But Achmed has no money.
I think I will stick to my "more wrong" version  ;D ;)


that is all I found so far, the rest is fine with me  :)
« Letzte Änderung: 09. September 2008, 22:45:22 von Bòógieman »
Schlachtaman Vibrations, UHYEAH!!!
_________________________________

>>>> Ende der Kommunikation <<<<

cinemaguy1

  • kleiner Tentakelsaugknopf
  • **
  • Beiträge: 31
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • AOL Instant Messenger - cinemaguy1
    • Profil anzeigen
    • Kid in a Cape Productions
    • E-Mail
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #5 am: 09. September 2008, 23:26:43 »
Ah, great! An attachment is much easier.

Okay, as for the notes...

I misunderstood the line about suing. I was tired and up all night on that one. Stick with your version.
-
"I'm the new school nurse since today" sounds awkward. Perhaps "I'm the school nurse starting today." or "Starting today, I'll be the school nurse." would work better for you. If it were me, I wouldn't keep it as it was.
-
If you literally mean she has physical skeletons in her basement, your way is best. The phrase "to have skeletons in your closet" means someones has secrets and is extremely common here. I assumed you wanted the phrase and changed it for you. But change it back if you are referring to actual skeletons. Then wordplay doesn't apply.
-
I must've thought the tread was the thread in the garbage can in the sanctuary. It was doing a lot of skipping around on where the story was and again, I was tired. At least changing it brought your attention to it. I wasn't sure...
-
Alright, I have a few questions about things. Perhaps it's just a culture gap. I'm not really sure.

There was a sentence on the poster next to the apartments, "It's not allowed to placard here!" This wording won't really convey what that means very well. I know you mean something along the lines of "Don't advertise here." but I would suggest a rewrite of that poster for us Americans. :)

The address on the building is 4a. Is that how addresses are in Europe? With numbers and letters? We don't really do that on the outsides of our buildings. Our apartments inside the building are commonly done that way, but not addresses.

I've never seen anyone sign a letter with the closing "sgd:" before. I assume it means "signed." Perhaps that's more common in Germany? You could American-ize it to a simple "Sincerely" or "Regards". I didn't change it. Your way probably works fine. Just wasn't sure.

There's a line "I'm not a standard bearer" at some point in the game. I couldn't figure out what you were intending with this. Perhaps a rewording would help. I can help if you'd like with a little explanation.

 I should have reworded the line "Where's that ground coming from?" but with only the text in front of me, I couldn't remember the context. That's one I'd like to see again during gameplay to see how it works.

Ok, well that's the fun in translation! Those were all my notes for about 50 pages of story. Pretty great considering, I think, on your part. Translating isn't easy. I hope I'm being of some help to the overall game. I'll finish up the rest by tomorrow.
http://www.kidinacape.com
My Production Company

Bòógieman

  • International anerkannter Superheld
  • Globaler Moderator
  • alter Tentakel
  • *****
  • Beiträge: 2658
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
  • Grün Tentakel = Running Sushi!
    • Profil anzeigen
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #6 am: 10. September 2008, 00:35:23 »
If you literally mean she has physical skeletons in her basement, your way is best. The phrase "to have skeletons in your closet" means someones has secrets and is extremely common here. I assumed you wanted the phrase and changed it for you. But change it back if you are referring to actual skeletons. Then wordplay doesn't apply.
I meant "to have skeletons in your closet" as "to have secrets"
but in german this phrase could also end with basement instead of closet, so it is a perfect match
in the online translation tool I have used, there I also found an english version featuring basement, so I thought I could use that instead
too bad it does not work  :'(

Zitat
There was a sentence on the poster next to the apartments, "It's not allowed to placard here!" This wording won't really convey what that means very well. I know you mean something along the lines of "Don't advertise here." but I would suggest a rewrite of that poster for us Americans. :)
actually there are 2 posters. the left one should say something like "Do not put posters on this wall".
the joke is, that someone put a poster right beside it that says "Okay!"
so there are 2 posters on a wall where no posters are allowed  ;)

Zitat
The address on the building is 4a. Is that how addresses are in Europe? With numbers and letters? We don't really do that on the outsides of our buildings. Our apartments inside the building are commonly done that way, but not addresses.
this background graphic is from an other episode done by Mister L and so it became part of Ronville
I just used it but did not change anything on it  :-\
but I think I will keep it the wrong way, since there are a bunch of episodes featuring this background with 4a
so at least we will all have it wrong  ;D

Zitat
I've never seen anyone sign a letter with the closing "sgd:" before. I assume it means "signed." Perhaps that's more common in Germany? You could American-ize it to a simple "Sincerely" or "Regards". I didn't change it. Your way probably works fine. Just wasn't sure.
yes, this means "signed" (got it from the online translation tool)
actually that isn't common in Germany either  :P
but I have seen that a couple of times on TV when someone reads a letter aloud, so I got used to it  :-\

Zitat
There's a line "I'm not a standard bearer" at some point in the game. I couldn't figure out what you were intending with this. Perhaps a rewording would help. I can help if you'd like with a little explanation.
that is the response when you try to pick up the banner at the police picnic
once again, I got it from the online translation tool
it says that a "standard bearer" is someone who carries a banner
you know it from knight-movies. there is always one guy carrying a banner while all the others are fighting  ;)

Zitat
I should have reworded the line "Where's that ground coming from?" but with only the text in front of me, I couldn't remember the context. That's one I'd like to see again during gameplay to see how it works.
at two points in the game, you suddenly can interact with the floor you are standing on (you can put a bucket on it or dig a hole in it)
but there was no hotspot before, so Klaus is wondering where this hotspot is coming from  ;)
this is the reaction when Klaus looks at the ground

Zitat
Ok, well that's the fun in translation! Those were all my notes for about 50 pages of story. Pretty great considering, I think, on your part. Translating isn't easy. I hope I'm being of some help to the overall game. I'll finish up the rest by tomorrow.
you are a great help!
at least I did not get the urgent need to bang my head on the wall, when I played the first 5 minutes using the proofread translation  ;D
my original translation did that  ;)
Schlachtaman Vibrations, UHYEAH!!!
_________________________________

>>>> Ende der Kommunikation <<<<

cinemaguy1

  • kleiner Tentakelsaugknopf
  • **
  • Beiträge: 31
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • AOL Instant Messenger - cinemaguy1
    • Profil anzeigen
    • Kid in a Cape Productions
    • E-Mail
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #7 am: 10. September 2008, 11:59:51 »
All done!!! Unfortunately the file is too large to attach here... :( Will email the final file to you Boogieman. Once you have it as a translation file, please guide me to it and I'll play through with one last critique just in case. I'd also like to see my work in-game! Thanks...

But before I go, I have a few more notes for you to consider before making the final translation. Here goes...

Typically promotional posters for non-profit issues (such as the environment) aren't called advertisements. They're called public service announcements.

I don't understand the very last line of the game. I assume it means Dr. Tears has died, but the wording is, "Paper is not supposed to be disposed as biological waste." If I didn't get it, it's likely others won't either. Maybe a good idea to explain that...

The line "I don't need good mood in my pockets." I was confused from the text where that was being used. I left it untouched due to my uncertainty.

Monogizing isn't a word. Hopefully, you meant it in a funny way. I left it there because I didn't have anything to change it to and wasn't sure if you wanted it or not.

I left the $ after the numbers in Ivana's dialog because to her that would be where they would go. It fits for her character, but for consistency, you may want to American-ize it. I like it how it is currently though.

Is wellington a brand name? If so a capital letter would be needed. As is, the "w" is lower-cased in all usages.

I was also confused on the line "I think I should spare my telephone joker for later." Definitely needs a rewording. I can help if you need, again with a little more clarification.

I wouldn't use the words "bearing" or "alms". They were both hard to understand the meaning. In the game, I changed the word alms to charity. I hope that was the meaning you wanted. If not, I'm sure another word would suffice. Bearing perhaps could be replaced simply with "hard surface". Up to you, though.

So, if that's it, I guess I am done for now. I liked the episode. My favorite part BY FAR was seeing Indy swing across the divide in his wheelchair. Absolutely hilarious!
http://www.kidinacape.com
My Production Company

cinemaguy1

  • kleiner Tentakelsaugknopf
  • **
  • Beiträge: 31
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • AOL Instant Messenger - cinemaguy1
    • Profil anzeigen
    • Kid in a Cape Productions
    • E-Mail
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #8 am: 10. September 2008, 12:07:07 »
Boogieman, your email was hidden in your profile, so I threw the file up online for you.

Link Removed

Enjoy!
« Letzte Änderung: 11. September 2008, 00:40:32 von cinemaguy1 »
http://www.kidinacape.com
My Production Company

Rocco

  • Administrator
  • alter Tentakel
  • *****
  • Beiträge: 2355
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • Profil anzeigen
    • Maniac Mansion Mania
    • E-Mail
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #9 am: 10. September 2008, 12:33:44 »
i guess you can decrease the filesize, when you zip the *.txt file.

Bòógieman

  • International anerkannter Superheld
  • Globaler Moderator
  • alter Tentakel
  • *****
  • Beiträge: 2658
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
  • Grün Tentakel = Running Sushi!
    • Profil anzeigen
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #10 am: 10. September 2008, 12:58:40 »
I don't understand the very last line of the game. I assume it means Dr. Tears has died, but the wording is, "Paper is not supposed to be disposed as biological waste." If I didn't get it, it's likely others won't either. Maybe a good idea to explain that...
ok, the cutscene runs like this:
in the credits comes the text
Zitat
This is the first game by Bòógieman,
in which no virtual lifeform has been killed ...
start of a cutscene where a girl (April Green, an environmentalist) enters Dr. Tears' office
she screams "OH MY GOD! DR. TEARS! NOOOOOO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?"
so the player thinks that Dr. Tears has killed himself, but then Dr. Tears says "What?"
and the girl complains "Paper is not supposed to be disposed as biological waste!"
back to the credits
Zitat
... and this shall not change.

do you really not get the meaning of that? I thought it was quite a understandable joke  :-\
April just complains about Dr. Tears using the wrong garbage can  ;)

Zitat
The line "I don't need good mood in my pockets." I was confused from the text where that was being used. I left it untouched due to my uncertainty.
you can find a big smiley-poster in Dr. Tears' office
Klaus says this line when you try to take that poster

Zitat
Monogizing isn't a word. Hopefully, you meant it in a funny way. I left it there because I didn't have anything to change it to and wasn't sure if you wanted it or not.
actually it is "monologizing"  ;)
ok, then lets change "I know a cheaper way of monologizing." to "I know a cheaper way to monologize." or "I know a cheaper way to talk to myself."
I think thats the comment, when Klaus tries to use two telephones at once  ;)

Zitat
I left the $ after the numbers in Ivana's dialog because to her that would be where they would go. It fits for her character, but for consistency, you may want to American-ize it. I like it how it is currently though.
I think I'll American-ize it for consistency  ;)

Zitat
Is wellington a brand name? If so a capital letter would be needed. As is, the "w" is lower-cased in all usages.
oh right, that's British English  ;D
a wellington is a gumboot or rubber boot  :P

Zitat
I was also confused on the line "I think I should spare my telephone joker for later." Definitely needs a rewording. I can help if you need, again with a little more clarification.
do you know the quiz show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" ?
if the candidate does not know the answer to a question, he can use several "jokers" like "asking the audience" or "making a phone call"
"I think I should spare my telephone joker for later." is a reference to that show when Klaus tries to call Ivana without knowing why  ;)

Zitat
I wouldn't use the words "bearing" or "alms". They were both hard to understand the meaning. In the game, I changed the word alms to charity. I hope that was the meaning you wanted. If not, I'm sure another word would suffice. Bearing perhaps could be replaced simply with "hard surface". Up to you, though.
charity is fine  ;)
I meant "bearing" as the part of the catapult where you put the projectile
it is the support for the projectile



ok, I'm going to check the new translation and then my episode is finally ready to

TAKE ON THE WORLD!!!  ;D
« Letzte Änderung: 10. September 2008, 13:29:10 von Bòógieman »
Schlachtaman Vibrations, UHYEAH!!!
_________________________________

>>>> Ende der Kommunikation <<<<

Fl0rian

  • Dott-MMM-Entwickler
  • Teenie Tentakel
  • **
  • Beiträge: 257
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • Profil anzeigen
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #11 am: 10. September 2008, 15:02:19 »
Concerning the catapult:

You truly shouldn't use bearing here, as it is commonly used for Kugellager.
The tray of a catapult is simply called bucket and the throwing arm is a beam.

Bòógieman

  • International anerkannter Superheld
  • Globaler Moderator
  • alter Tentakel
  • *****
  • Beiträge: 2658
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
  • Grün Tentakel = Running Sushi!
    • Profil anzeigen
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #12 am: 10. September 2008, 19:23:21 »
ops, I actually meant "bearing" in the sense of "where you put the rocker on"
in the game you build the rocker by connecting a sign and a shovel
then you place the whole thing on a big stone to create a catapult
the stone is the "bearing"  :-\
how about "base"?  ???
Schlachtaman Vibrations, UHYEAH!!!
_________________________________

>>>> Ende der Kommunikation <<<<

cinemaguy1

  • kleiner Tentakelsaugknopf
  • **
  • Beiträge: 31
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
    • AOL Instant Messenger - cinemaguy1
    • Profil anzeigen
    • Kid in a Cape Productions
    • E-Mail
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #13 am: 10. September 2008, 20:08:21 »
Base works just fine, I think.

In regard to the telephone joker, instead of the word "jokers," you'd definitely want the word "lifelines" then. People will understand "telephone lifeline" as a "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" reference. They wouldn't with jokers.
« Letzte Änderung: 10. September 2008, 20:16:53 von cinemaguy1 »
http://www.kidinacape.com
My Production Company

Bòógieman

  • International anerkannter Superheld
  • Globaler Moderator
  • alter Tentakel
  • *****
  • Beiträge: 2658
  • Geschlecht: Männlich
  • Grün Tentakel = Running Sushi!
    • Profil anzeigen
Re: Episode 53 - English translation
« Antwort #14 am: 10. September 2008, 20:34:22 »
After that, you have to palm the stolen goods off on your victim.
After that, you have to steal the goods from your victim.

I think you did not understand what I was trying to say  :-\
this sentence refers to the part of the game, where you steal the picnic and place it on the ground behind bernard, so the police will think that bernard has stolen it
your version sounds like you have to steal the picnic from bernard  ???


I changed "I know a cheaper way of monologizing." to "I know a cheaper way of talking to myself."

I used "Please don't open your blouse!" instead of "Please close your blouse!"

I changed "It's an advertisement for the environment." to "It's a public service announcement for the environment."
or would "It's a public service announcement." be better?

you changed
Zitat
Many thanks, for the support at
scriptchanges on the starterpack, dedicated to
Bissiger Witzbold and khrismuc
to
Zitat
Many thanks, for the support...
scriptchanges on the starterpack, dedicated to
Bissiger Witzbold and khrismuc
and now I have changed it to
Zitat
Many thanks, for the support with
scriptchanges on the starterpack, dedicated to
Bissiger Witzbold and khrismuc

So he prepared an entrapment that would teach him once and for all.
So he prepared a trap that would teach him once and for all.

is that change really necessary or does it just sound better?
this is part of the starwars intro text and would be a whole lot of work to change  :-\

and now I use "base" instead of "bearing", "rubber boot" instead of "wellington"

I also changed
On the left poster is written: "It's not allowed to placard here!"
to
On the left poster is written: "It's not allowed to put posters on this wall!"


EDIT: i have sent you a private message with the download link for the newest version of the game  ;)
« Letzte Änderung: 10. September 2008, 20:51:22 von Bòógieman »
Schlachtaman Vibrations, UHYEAH!!!
_________________________________

>>>> Ende der Kommunikation <<<<